Here we go again….
I am completely and utterly e-ADHD.
As I stated when I first started this blog, I have a tendancy to begin and abandon online accounts like so much used Kleenex. In fact, if the online sphere was a wasteland, my futile e-attempts would be the office chairs of the tip – used and discarded, floating, spinning, empty – with a spring that pokes your butt if you try to sit on it. This embaresses me sometimes, knowing my half-digested thoughts are floating around the internet, but what shames me more is the proof everlasting that I can’t keep my mind on anything half-substantial once the wrapping comes off the packet.
This is as true in real life as it is online – I have a really bad habit of deciding I NEED to buy something that will CHANGE MY LIFE right away – only to research, evaluate and purchase within a few days, and then not look at said item again for months. The upside is when I do look at said item again, I usually use it, but I do tend to need a few months of guilty “I really shouldn’t have bought that game/set of boxing gloves/pair of rollerblades/blender for making low-fat yet delicious smoothies/giant and ungainly exercise ball” thoughts before I look at the item again. Once the guilt has abated (usually once I’ve shoved the item behind a cupboard, under the bed, or in a closet), I can start the seek-find-use process.
Take my Nintendo DS, for example. Two years ago, I decided my parents HAD to buy me a Pink (of course) system, so that I could do Brain games on the Train, saving me money on books, and rescuing me from impending, potentially life-threatening, boredom. Only Brain games would do, mind you, as I didn’t see myself becoming some manner of Girl Gamer, determining the fate of some small animated being. So, I began to play the Brain games, failed majorly on all fronts, realised I didn’t like how dumb the good Dr made me feel, put the DS in a box under my bed, and proceeded to spend a fortune on books again.
A few months ago, I found my dusty DS, bought a Mario Brothers console, and had the TIME of my LIFE on the bus slamming the tiny plumber into walls, pipes and the like. In fact, I think I’ve managed to stick with this game longer than I’ve stuck with anything I’ve ever stuck with before – and with only a couple of levels to go before I finish the entire game, I’m obsessed with my DS. It even has it’s own special ‘adult’ looking case (cleverly disguising the DS as some manner of Filofax).
I’m not sure why I always do this, but know I did it as a child, as well - many of my toys had to sit in a box for months before I decided they were worthy of my attention, and some of these I still own. I tell myself I’m saving them for my future children, but in reality I just like them. I’m not sure if this habit is born of a major attention issue, or if I’m just SO stubborn I even rebel against my own better instincts, but either way I can understand how frustating it gets for my (much) better half, especially when he buys me things that I appear to have no interest in (at the time, that is).
I just wish I wouldn’t do this with expensive things, like my GYM membership (Painful. I’m currently going through the ”put it in the back of the closet” stage, dragging myself there kicking and screaming once a week, then blissfully jogging for FREE around the block every other day. *head-desk*), as it serves no real purpose other than burning money faster than the tyres of a Japnese rice-rocket.
But, no more shall I let the same thing happen to this blog, which I have abandoned for months, going back to my old, outdated journal like a bad ex-boyfriend. He says he’s changed – should I believe him, despite the fact we both know we’ve outgrown each other?
I shall now try to keep this blog updated with mostly-useless information and memories, and will try to keep it from migrating towards the dead space under my bed. Just be careful when you open the page – the dust might make you sneeze.
